Weird Bathroom Situations

[phosphide]

I started at a new company of about 450 employees about 6 months ago, and there are roughly 150 employees who share a three stall bathroom. It's digusting. It's awkward. Flat out horrid. I didn't know human beings could be so terrible. I know we like a good bathroom thread here at PCF, so I thought I might help make it even better by describing some of my experiences (#1 being the worst).

1. Guy who talks to himself while going to the bathroom has the same bathroom schedule as me.
Da f**k. Everytime...every f**k time I go to the bathroom this guy goes into the stall next to me, talking to himself the whole time, blasting away without restraint. I don't know what to do. I often just wait it out until he's gone before I do anything.

2. Pooping next to the CEO
My position is critical to our company, but I'm not in position of management. Nonetheless, I sit very close to the CEO. Therefore, more often than I would like, I find myself going to the bathroom at the same time as him. It's an extremely long and awkward period of time. What do you do in this situation?

3. Guy standing with his feet facing the toilet for an unusually long time.
What the f**k is he doing? It's quiet. Too quiet.

4. Piss everywhere. On the seat, on the walls, on the floor, everywhere.
I just don't understand. It feels like grade school or something, guys don't know how to aim. Or clean it up for that matter.

5. Toilet paper, more toilet paper...holy crap I can't believe what I am seeing.
I don't understand why people engulf toilets with toilet paper and then leave it. Or tear the shit out of toilet paper and leave it all over the floor.

6. Spitting, spitting gum, groaning, other noises.
Good heavens.

[Spider]

Could be worse:

[Winchester]

I just hate peeing in those long troughs with about 40 other guys. It's like I really hope that is just water splashing everywhere. Just replace those things with stand alone urinals... please.

[exploited]

[Spider]

Worst bathroom I ever saw was near the Fake Market in Shanghai. It was literally a trench down the middle of an unventilated room that 20 guys would line up and straddle-squat over daisy chain style with newspapers, chatting it up the whole time. There was a tank on the wall above that would empty once in a while and flood it all out under the wall into a nearby storm drain.

Phosphide is doing ok.

[broken robot]

You've caught me on my favorite topic: why people can't seem to get their shit together when it comes to shitting in bathrooms.

I lived in an ex-frat house run by a private management company once because I thought I was going to be slick and save on rent without any bells or whistles. Needless to say the bathrooms were communal and it was f*cking insane. Shit stew bubbling damn near over, literally mentally ill people trying to enter the showers (we're not bros bro), people washing lettuce in the sink, and the beautiful poetry scrawled on the walls: "here i sit on porcelain," "10/10 nice poop", "here i sit all broken hearted, came here to shit but i just farted." I knew I was in a bad way when I went to take a piss and heard a visitor say, "damn this place is crazy." It felt like Dee's experience in Charlie and Frank's apartment on It's Always Sunny, where you could get stabbed on the way to the bathroom in the middle of the night. Never again.

I seriously felt it was a form of inhuman punishment to have to clean those bathrooms. Whoever that janitor was was either paying off a huge karma debt or is practically a saint.

But yeah, f people who can't clean up their own shit and piss, worse than animals.

[Spider]

I must be anger and alienation. People smear shit all over for the same reason they they lash out or vandalize property.

[broken robot]

Yeah I just never quite understood why you'd f up your own place. To me a bathroom should be like a temple, there are strict rules about polluting things and purification rituals are necessary. I mean, okay burning something down in a riot I get it if you're really angry, but smearing shit? Really? That stuff stinks!

[Spider]

"My life sucks, and I feel powerless. I guess I better make that old lady who pushes the garbage can around all night suffer. That'll show em."

[broken robot]

Living in that place made me almost become a raging conservative, talking all that trash about personal responsibility, when I helped out the RA one night on garbage duty and emptied a trash bin. Literally two seconds I walk away from the bin to go get another bag and someone dumps a box of rotting apples into it.

I think it's what happens when people don't have any kind of respect in their own lives, when people, the system, whatever treat them like shit, they imagine that's the way the world is. They have no models for other kinds of behavior so I guess who's to blame them. Still didn't make me any less pissed though living there.