How easy is it for men to challenge other men?

[uebermann]

[Spider]

[Darkhorse]

Katz does himself a great disservice by suggesting that the issue of domestic violence belongs to one gender or the other. He offends some of the men his plan depends on when he says that domestic violence is a men's issue, that men are the problem, or that men are the ones who need to fix it. He offends them, not because they are awful, abusive men, but because they are not and hate being lumped together with that ilk simply because of their gender. Katz mentions that feminists have been labeled man haters; well, this is part of the reason why. To suggest that terrorism is a Muslim problem that Muslims need to solve is very inappropriate, what makes this any different?

When people perceive that they are being unfairly blamed, they become defensive and far less receptive. Katz made things much more difficult for himself by framing the issue in the way he did, which is unfortunate because some of his ideas were decent. I can't help but wonder whether Katz was actually trying to inspire men to become part of the solution or if he was just telling women what he knew they wanted to hear. Perhaps I'm just a cynic.

As for how difficult it is to challenge other men, it depends on the situation and what is being said. I'm usually willing to give people the benefit of the doubt and assume they were trying to be funny and don't really mean it. I've made a couple tasteless jokes with friends that I wished I could have taken back; it is bound to happen occasionally if you have a dark sense of humor. Sometimes you know for sure they mean it, in which case it is almost never worth it to set them straight. I'm willing to stand up for someone else who might be offended, but if no one else cares then it just isn't worth my time. It is no secret that men who beat their wives are considered to be human garbage by the overwhelming majority of this and all other civilized countries. I don't think correcting people for saying sexist things is going to end domestic violence.

[Spider]

[Darkhorse]

[The Dharma Bum]

[exploited]

It has been interesting to see the dramatic rise in female-on-female and female-on-male violence in recent years. This has coincided with a general rise in equality amongst men and women (although there is still alot of work to be done). To me, this demonstrates the essentially violent nature of the human being; oppressive behaviour and demand for conformity seems to be built in, regardless of race, gender, age, etc.

In my mind, domestic violence is a symptom of a far greater problem, which is that violence is embedded in every aspect of our culture, in every level of government, in our relationships, in what we glorify and what we condemn. As such, it cannot be addressed by one gender alone. Obviously men are way, way more guilty than women when it comes to violence, at least historically, but as I mentioned, the trends seem to demonstrate that any person, male or female, has the capacity to take pleasure from domination.

The truth is that when men stand up to other men, violence is sitting right below the surface. A man doesn't tell another man to stop what he is doing unless he feels like he can back it up with force. So even when he speaks out against injustice, the power of his statement rests on his ability to do violence.

Until that changes, you will continue to see abusive relationships. And not just against women but against all of us.

[The Dharma Bum]

Very astute.

[The Dharma Bum]

Humanity as a collectivity is really is a mixed up child-intelligence. We essentially developed intelligence as a species without any guidance at all.

And like someone who as a child grew up with no guidance and doesn't really understand how he fits in the world I feel that humanity is just now developing the ability, through communications technology, to be conscious of who and what we are on a collective level. We are just barely conscious of this on an individual level (few individuals are truly conscious of what we really are yet).

In time we will learn the truth of these matters and shed the phantasms that keep us from self actualization, both as individuals and as a collective organism.

[eric]

Depends on the situation and issue. I think in our culture we're becoming more non-confrontational and so people who continue to act like numbskulls are people whom are disassociated with by equality and fair minded people.

But I have to say, as a gender, males are about to get rocked.