How do you wipe?

[Kane]

So I've just found out that there are actually multiple styles of wiping ones brown eye after a shartening of sorts has occurred. Once you've done the deed, allowed your volcano to erupt into the porcelain throne, in what way do you approach the sordid task of cleaning the magma away?

[The Comrade]

those are the only two options?

[The Dude]

I remember this thread is OG PCF. I told Prickles to make it and he did. It was hilarious but ended with Lumina ending it. Of course.

[Saz]

Wipe? You beast.



Thousands of years of civilization and you still dry wipe your ass with dead trees?

[Professor]

Hate to say it, but wiping with a wet wipe is far more sanitary than simply spraying some water at your arse. Think about cleaning a car. What happens if you just spray it with a water hose? The dirt gets wet, but sticks to the car. Now, what happens if you wipe it with a wet cloth? The dirt is removed. Same thing here.

[Spider]

Signed up for dollar shave club (which is fantastic btw) and they sent me a sample of One Wipe Charlies.


Is there something to a little bunghole pampering? Does said bunghole probably benefit? Is the product effective? Oh yes.

Would I pay actual money to continue cleaning my ass with silky, scented, fru-fru buttwipes? Nope. I'm far to unexfoliated, hairy, and testosterone laden for that sort of thing.

But. Nice while they lasted. Smelled good, too.

[John Galt]

the thread in OG PCF actually changed my behavior on this matter. i hadn't even considered it before that thread. i think it's the one example of where my mind changed from something someone on the internet said.

[Professor]

There's a box of Simply Right (Sam's brand) baby wipes on every toilet in my house. 900 for $17.

BTW, you know what else? When it comes to keeping my ass from smelling like shit, the environment can kiss my baby-powder-smelling ass.

Speaking of bathroom etiquette, does anyone mind if I segue for a second? It's been said that we should wash our hands EVERY time we go to the bathroom. And, if you are a guy and going #2, I agree. But, and I don't speak for anyone else, when I go into a public toilet, I've perfected the art of not touching a single thing except for the little tab on my zipper. I don't touch the door handles, the flush knob, or even my willy. Now, unless my zipper tab is somehow encrusted with scores of bacteria, I don't see how my hands are any more unclean going out of a bathroom than going in. So, why should I wash?

[Kane]

Consider, for a second, all the other people out there that don't even wash their hands after taking a massive dump. Your efforts while noble, amounts to nothing. These dirty bastards and bitches neutralize all of it, you have fecal matter on you right now, one way or another.

[John Galt]

i only wash from pissing when there are other people around at work. otherwise, nope. but i think everyone does the same thing