So, I'm getting married on Saturday.
Any advice for wedding/married life or any epic wedding stories?
I'm getting married
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Re: I'm getting married
by The Comrade » Thu Jul 03, 2014 11:53 am
run
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Re: I'm getting married
by Winchester » Thu Jul 03, 2014 11:57 am
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Re: I'm getting married
by Saz » Thu Jul 03, 2014 12:14 pm
What's his name?
DON'T BE A TOUGH GUY. DON'T BE A FOOL! I WILL CALL YOU LATER.
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Re: I'm getting married
by John Galt » Thu Jul 03, 2014 12:36 pm
one time i got married
wedding was great. it was soon after college so my friends all acted like it was college, por ejemplo
one scherer broke his head open in the hotel passing out while pissing and had to go to the hospital. i found out about this like 3 months later.
another i found out had whiskey dick from one dissapointed bridesmaid
hoffman just didn't care and deflowered one of my then-wife's friends who we referred to as gimli
rief, that f**k, was swimming in the pool at 2am in his tux with a dog
i dunno what kay was doing. probably some boy
i didn't get trashed though, i had a good time and it was a really great wedding. served chicken kiev since i f**k love chicken kiev. also, lots of booze. just kegs though, bar costs money
but then i ended up having to live with her and it was one of the most awful things ever. but she found the breeder for my dog so i do have her to thank for my bitch
good news is homer it that there is still time to back out
oh so my sister got married a few years ago. married bridesmaid takes me back to her bedroom after she's all over me while we afterparty at a bar
oh yeah getting good and
she pukes.
everywhere.
the entire bed is covered in red (from the drinks). i drunkenly spend the next half hour cleaning her up and moving her to the other bed (apparently her and her husband got two beds, and he slept elsewhere anyway). the stench wakes me up while i'm sober enough to be conscious of it.
call my sister: i need a ride. come pick me up in this hotel room.
she enters, almost throws up, then looks at me all angrily, "you didn't?!! did you?!!!?!?!?!?!?!?!!!" "no, i don't puke" "arrrrgggggggggggggggggggg". fun fact: last summer that girl (now divorced, weird) and my sister got in a drunken fist fight and broke walls
two weeks ago i met don luchia at a wedding. that was a nice wedding. iced urinals, refreshed all night, and real towels to dry your hands in the bathroom. i got pretty trashed though
wedding was great. it was soon after college so my friends all acted like it was college, por ejemplo
one scherer broke his head open in the hotel passing out while pissing and had to go to the hospital. i found out about this like 3 months later.
another i found out had whiskey dick from one dissapointed bridesmaid
hoffman just didn't care and deflowered one of my then-wife's friends who we referred to as gimli
rief, that f**k, was swimming in the pool at 2am in his tux with a dog
i dunno what kay was doing. probably some boy
i didn't get trashed though, i had a good time and it was a really great wedding. served chicken kiev since i f**k love chicken kiev. also, lots of booze. just kegs though, bar costs money
but then i ended up having to live with her and it was one of the most awful things ever. but she found the breeder for my dog so i do have her to thank for my bitch
good news is homer it that there is still time to back out
oh so my sister got married a few years ago. married bridesmaid takes me back to her bedroom after she's all over me while we afterparty at a bar
oh yeah getting good and
she pukes.
everywhere.
the entire bed is covered in red (from the drinks). i drunkenly spend the next half hour cleaning her up and moving her to the other bed (apparently her and her husband got two beds, and he slept elsewhere anyway). the stench wakes me up while i'm sober enough to be conscious of it.
call my sister: i need a ride. come pick me up in this hotel room.
she enters, almost throws up, then looks at me all angrily, "you didn't?!! did you?!!!?!?!?!?!?!?!!!" "no, i don't puke" "arrrrgggggggggggggggggggg". fun fact: last summer that girl (now divorced, weird) and my sister got in a drunken fist fight and broke walls
two weeks ago i met don luchia at a wedding. that was a nice wedding. iced urinals, refreshed all night, and real towels to dry your hands in the bathroom. i got pretty trashed though
Last edited by John Galt on Thu Jul 03, 2014 12:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Americans learn only from catastrophe and not from experience. -- Theodore Roosevelt
My life has become a single, ongoing revelation that I haven’t been cynical enough.
My life has become a single, ongoing revelation that I haven’t been cynical enough.
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Re: I'm getting married
by The Comrade » Thu Jul 03, 2014 12:40 pm
your family sounds great. can we get married?
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