Rape Culture

[The Dharma Bum]

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[Indy]

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Although the concept of rape culture is ridiculous, there are plenty of men who, were they able to feel safe in expressing their opinions, would closely resemble the Taliban. Mostly these are religious social conservatives, as is to be expected. The thing is that Western society has really made it hard for such people to speak truthfully - the repercussions of admitting the degree to which they wish to suppress women are quite high, and so like most racists, they have been driven underground. Grant them anonymity, and the true extent of their hatred comes out.

I know this because I've managed to get a few people to admit to some really f**k up stuff IRL. If you want some good indicators of who holds these opinions, really pay attention to what they are saying. Those who talk about how men are "the head of the household" often have such views. Those who talk about how they support "traditional family structures" are often referring to what is really a sub-dom relationship, with the man holding almost all financial, physical and sexual authority. People who make a big issue of what women wear when they are raped often tip-toe around what they are saying - it is one thing to warn a person you know about the dangers of putting yourself in certain high-risk situations, it is another to know that a rape has occurred and to say something like "Well she was dressed like a slut" or "She shouldn't have been drinking." The difference is subtle, but it exists: one is attempting to help people avoid rape based upon a rational assessment of contributing factors, the other is excusing something that has already occurred, and often times has nothing to do with what actually went down.

So, yeah, while I think the whole notion of rape culture is incredibly silly, there are most certainly a great deal of men who, when given anonymity, would sound virtually identical to the Taliban (to a degree). Most Westerners aren't apt to endorse government intervention on their behalf though - they don't want to give police the right to punish women, they merely want to preserve that right for themselves.

[The Dharma Bum]

Ex, you say it's a silly concept, but then admit you think all the same things that using the term posits about our society.

I think younger men on the internet actually do tend look at the terms associated with female liberation as buzzwords that are intentionally encoded as a covert attack on their porn viewing ability.

so it really is a fear of female, or perhaps generational, attack on their sexuality that is the basis of this sort of reaction.

ignorance+

[Indy]

Here's what I mean when I use the term: the increasing number of instances in this country where people are perfectly willing to blame the women who get raped or excuse their attackers (think: high school football stars in small towns). I no way am I saying when two college kids get drunk and hook up and the woman feels guilty afterward and cries "rape" is included.

And the increasingly public comments by media types that women who have sex before marriage are sluts, that women who take contraception are sluts, that anybody who doesn't have sex to have a baby (but has to be married!) is a whore.

A sect in our culture that believes that women who are raped need to have the baby if a pregnancy ensues because this is really a "gift" from God and for them to deny it is a sin.

Although according to that GOP congressional candidate in Minnesota (I believe) who, ironically, is a woman: those single pregnant women should be hiding themselves from the public because of the shame. Bonus: this woman is "pro-life."

The increasingly appearing archaic mindset that women are merely vessels to provide babies for men, who are free to have as many partners as they please because hey, this is just boyz being boyz dontcha know? Women who also are not the intellectual equivalent of men nor should they be paid equally to men.

Just this week we had some moron say that well, rape at knifepoint is certainly worse than date rape. Let's not forget the infamous "legitimate rape" comment and also that one conservative politician who said that well, women can't get pregnant from rape because then their sperm-killing anti-aircraft batteries spring into action so why would there ever be a need for an abortion if a woman was really raped? And on and on and on...

Really? This is 2014 and people are saying this shit?

Perhaps "rape culture" is the wrong term and we need another one. But yes, we seem to be moving backwards when it comes to what socially acceptable attitudes towards women are and the actions against them. Yes, some of them are very Taliban-esque. And pointing this out does not make somebody a "feminist" or a "Marxist."

It makes them "Not an asshole."

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[Indy]

Porn has nothing to do with what I'm talking about. Nobody is saying that porn is part of the problem. At least I'm not.

I'd much rather have a society where people like to watch people having sex than people gruesomely killing each other.

Here in America, we do both. But only one carries a stigma.

[The Dharma Bum]