i think the problem is you started off "no offense intended, but ya'll a bunch of autists". it's on the favorite insults to throw around these days. "oh they aren't retarded, but they must have SOMETHING be wrong with them if they can understand something more complicated than i can so they must have autism".
most people in the tech industry (and engineering) are intelligent but that doesn't make us autistic at all. i think there is a stereotype of these types of people at the heads of startups, or rather, the ideas guy behind the startup, that are seen as being autistic (e.g., Zuckerberg in The Social Network. I am unsure about IRL) but personally I have known of two coworkers who I would describe this way. one who had it full blown and would have food on his shirt basically at all times and whatnot, and had no idea that he was being inappropriate in how he was talking to anyone ever (leering at women was a problem), but he mostly just wanted to talk about Star Trek, beer, or Catholicism; he had pictures of the pope scotched tape to the fabric lining of the cube. he died about a year ago. RIP. oh yeah, he was a lawyer not even a tech guy; he was one of the guys associating cases to statutes. The other who isn't that bad but it is pretty obvious when we go to a happy hour and he tries to get a ball on a chain into a hoop for 45 minutes without stopping (he's in my department but he's in QA). everybody else are just smart people man. some of us are forthright with others and we'll just be plain with our criticism. it's not about how they did it, it's not to deride them for being shit, but it is about explaining what else is a better alternative, or to point out inconsistencies.
this isn't from lack of interpersonal skills, this is from rejecting the prevailing passive aggressive bullshit that happens in boardrooms around the country in favor of honesty. oh we have that passive aggressive bullshit as well at times and we have to deal with it, but in the world of tech, when we're talking about the designs and implementations of things? cut the nonsense, or else nothing will meet dates. we're the sane ones, we who talk to peers as peers should. and while I make software that just makes lawyer's jobs easier and that's about it, other engineers do far more important things where lives are in the balance. bullshitting around can get people killed